Ai O Kudasai
by TeaBrew
Summary: From Heero's POV, two months before 'Hand of Blood, Heart of Death'. Everytime Heero walks past Duo's door at night, he hears crying. Why? Heero begins to think himself some very deep reasons and answers for it... Semi-implied 1+2.


Just once…just once I would like to pass his room without hearing his choking sobs as he pretends to sleep ****

Ai O Kudasai…

Just once…just once I would like to pass his dorm without hearing his choking sobs as he pretends to sleep. He thinks no one can hear him, that in the middle of the night no one will be awake. He forgets that I never sleep. The Peacemillion isn't exactly the most quiet of all places to rest. It's like I'm beating my head on an invisible brick wall all of a sudden. Why should I care what that idiot does or thinks?

With a snort I turn and walk off. Let him solve his own problems.

***

If there is one thing in this pitiful universe I like, it's coffee. After long hours of reviewing mission statistics and the like, a good long cup of the heavenly black liquid is a necessity. I take a long draught from my cup, closing my eyes in silent satisfaction.

"Hiya Heero! Sleep well?" Duo says with a grin as he sits next to me.

I make no reply as I glare at him. No one else is in the room.

"How many nights has it been now?" I say simply, eyes burning into his.

His face falls instantly, a blank look crossing his features. "Uh…what?"

"You blubbering like a two year-old at night. How long has it been now?"

Duo sits straight up and a stern expression of silence covers him. He avoids my harsh gaze and stares out of the large window. He sighs heavily and looks back at me, distant pain in his eyes.

"You should know everything about me Heero. You're supposed to be able to find anything on that little toy of yours." He says softly, a sad whisper of a smile touching his lips.

"Are you suggesting I spy on you?"

"If you want to…you already know though, so it's pretty pointless."

I open my mouth to speak. No words come out. What do I say to a response like that?

"How did you know?" He says with a flicker of a smile.

"I…" How was I supposed to tell him? That I walk to his room every night just to hear him crying? That I wished I could just walk inside and comfort him? Iie…I would, could, never do anything like that. My soldier facade faults and my brow relaxes suddenly.

"You are only just across the hall Duo…you aren't exactly the most subtle of people." My voice doesn't crack like that when I talk. What is this ache in my chest? Why the hell do I care what the idiot does!? He's a danger to the mission if he doesn't think straight!

"Oh…sorry…" He's never this quiet. It must be seriously bothering him then, to melt that beautiful smile from his face.

"Duo…what…" Just say it Yuy! You remember what Lowe said, DO IT! "Why do…you cry so much at night?"

He swallows and stares back at me with wide eyes. "I…" He falters. "It's the memories, Heero…they won't leave me…the darkness has always haunted me that way."

"What memories?"

"Of…of that night, of what I found…who I found." He narrows his eyes in pain. "I…I vowed to pay him back tenfold for the pain he caused me Heero. Duo Maxwell is a man of his word. I may run, I may hide but I never tell a lie. McGillan will pay for what he has done to my grandfather, I promise."

But not Duo…

"Not Duo…" He stares up at me. Whoops, I said that out aloud, dammit. I swallow slightly. "It is a promise from Shinigami, not Duo." I say quickly.

He stares at me in disbelief for a second before running a set of slender fingers through his bangs and smiling.

"Hah…Shinigami thanks you Heero…"

Duo stands up and goes to walk out. Out of some primal reflex, I reach up and snag his arm. He whirls his head around to face me. Great, that was smart Yuy, now what?

"Heero…what's up?"

Why can't I speak?

"Yo, say something."

Why am I holding back from saying what I want to say?

"Heero, lemme go, c'mon man."

For some reason my grip tightens. Why do I want to stop him from leaving suddenly?

"Hey, H-Heero, you're hurting me…"

Why is there a possibility of that happening? The idiot's a pilot, just like me…

"Heero! That really hurts, stop it!"

No…he wouldn't leave. He mustn't, he won't!!

"LET GO!!"

I WON'T!!

He reels back and punches me hard in the jaw. My head snaps to the side and I blink in amazement as to what just happened. Was I so absorbed in my thoughts I didn't realise I was hurting him? A metallic taste. I run my tongue around my mouth. He drew blood, no surprise there.

"What the hell has gotten into you Yuy?" he breathes.

I turn my head back to answer him. I'm not sure koi…

KOI!? My face shows no emotion as I reach over and skull the rest of my coffee in one hit. What the hell am I thinking? Even if I did have time for love it wouldn't be for boys, let alone Duo Maxwell, my best friend!

"Answer me dammit!" He's yelling now.

I stand up and move to walk past him, stopping just past where he stands, my back to him.

"Ai o kudasai, Duo?" I whisper and walk out.

He stands there stunned as I close the door behind me. He obviously has no idea what I just said, thank god. Good thing his Japanese is awful. Still though…

I walk quickly back to my dorm with a shaky stance, closing the door behind me and slumping against it with a shaky sigh. I wonder as I stand there…if he could give me love?

****

The End

Hmm…I never seem to write more than a few pages, ne? Feh…oh yeah: if anyone's confuzzled this took place about two months before my original story 'Hand of Blood, Heart of Death'. This story I'm leaving up to you, the readers, to decide on the implications. It can either be a Yaoi (boy/boy love) story or a simple friendship one (tho if you've read HOB, HOD than you can guess what happens! //.^ *ack* my Trowa smileys suck!) BTW - for those unfortunate enough not to have read the Ep Zero manga, when Heero is talking about Lowe, he means Odin Lowe. Odin basically trained the Wing pilot 'til he was around 8 years old before getting plugged himself. That's all…later until next posting! ~C.K (PS: 'ai o kudasai' means 'could you give me love' in Jap)


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